When People are BIG and God is small

I have a confession to make: I struggle with being a people-pleaser.

Yes, you read that right. Yes, this comes from a pastor. Yes, I'm aware of Galatians 1:10 where Paul says, "For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." Yes, I'm aware of Psalm 29:25, which says, "The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe."

And yet, I still struggle with this sin. When I preach, I wish I could say that my motives were 100% pure. Unfortunately, many times there's a part of me that craves compliments and praises from people after proclaiming God's Word. Sometimes, I don't confront people with their sin because I want them to like me and accept me. Most of the time, I don't share my faith because I fear rejection from others. These confessions may come as a shock to you, but I am just being barebones honest here. And until today, I thought I was the only person that struggled with this sin.

However, I have begun to read Ed Welch's When People are Big and God is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man. And I found out that this is a sin that nearly everyone deals with on some level or another. Here's some diagnostic questions that Welch submits for consideration. If you answer yes to any of these, you may also struggle with the sin of people-pleasing:

• Have you ever struggled with peer pressure?


• Are you over-committed? Do you find that it is hard to say no even when wisdom indicates that you should?


• Do you "need" something from your spouse? Do you "need" your spouse to listen to you? Respect you?


• Is self-esteem a critical concern for you?


• Do you ever feel as if you might be exposed as an impostor?


• Are you always second-guessing decisions because of what other people might think?


• Do you feel empty or meaningless? Do you experience "love hunger"?


• Do you get easily embarrassed?


• Do you ever lie, especially the little white lies?


• Are you jealous of other people?


• Do other people often make you angry or depressed? Are they making you crazy?


• Do you avoid people?


• Aren't most diets, even when they are ostensibly under the heading of "health," dedicated to impressing others?


• Have you ever been too timid to share your faith in Christ because others might think you are an irrational fool?

(pp. 15-17)

Welch then concludes, "Fear of man is such a part of our human fabric that we should check for a pulse if someone denies it." (17)

Do any of these observations describe you? If so, you may benefit from joining me on this journey. I will include my thoughts and observations as well as some great quotes from Welch as I carefully read through the book, as I examine my heart, and as I pray for God to help me to experience victory over this sin.

My prayer is not only for myself, but for you as well. If you struggle with this sin (as I suspect that Welch is on target regarding the nearly universal nature of this sin), I pray that you will benefit from my observations and thoughts. However, I will pray even more that you will spend some time examining your own heart in regards to these matters.